Cousin Carolyn’s Low-Carb Cabbage (THM-S)

“Cabbage is the perfect low-carb vegetable.” Trim Healthy Mama, p. 312

“Cabbage is awesome when it’s covered in butter and baked in the oven.”
Heather Lewis, 2014

cabbage

The statement, “I have a large family,” is the understatement of the century in my case. Between both parents’ families, across generations, I have approximately 607,458 family members. It’s true…ish. Okay, maybe there are a few less. Seriously, anywhere I go, especially in the Memphis area, I see someone to whom I am related. Once I traveled to Boston for a teaching conference and, guess what? BAM, cousin. Right there in the hotel lobby.

He’s a good guy to know if you like to hunt, fish, or otherwise slay anything in the out-of-doors. Naturally, Big Daddy and Mike like killin’ things together.

It’s not my thing, but whatever, man. (Ducks are delicious, though!) Personally, I’m far and away more interested in being in relationship with Mike’s awesome wife, Cousin Carolyn. She and I are kindred spirits, in the sense that she likes to bake cookies, and I like to eat them. Our relationship is symbiotic that way. Give and take, more or less.

One day, awhile back, Cousin Carolyn and I were talking about cabbage (and by ‘talking’, I mean Facebook messaging…y’all know I don’t talk to people unless I’m dying). Now, I know that cabbage is not exactly a hot topic, but, as you know, I’m an introvert and, therefore, generally socially awkward. It’s really not a thing for me to be talking with someone about things “normal” people wouldn’t dare touch in conversation. Cabbage is just something I happen to love, and Carolyn is known far and wide to be an expert cook.

Two and two still equals four in this part of the country.

Anyway, I was telling her how I usually chop it up, dump it in a pot, cover it in chicken stock and black pepper and boil it until it looks right, when she suggested that there might be another, better, even more tasty way to cook and eat cabbage.

And, y’all, she was right!

Here’s the low-down:

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Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. This aids in clean-up, which makes me happy. Split the cabbage in half, top to bottom, and then split those halves in half again. Those are fourths, for those of you who are calculating. Now, take each fourth and cut it crosswise. Now you have eighths. Math lesson: BONUS! Shred the eighths until you’ve got a bowl full of something that looks like this.

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Sprinkle copious amounts of sea salt, black pepper, and garlic powder all over it and mix, mix, mix. Cabbage is somewhat of a blank slate, so you could really take it anywhere you wanted it to go at this point: onion powder, Creole seasoning, cumin, paprika. The list goes on and on.

Next, dump the seasoned cabbage onto the lined baking sheet. Don’t worry if it looks overly full. It’ll cook down in the oven.

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Top with butter pats. Step back and enjoy your masterpiece.

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Bake it for about 20-25 minutes. While  you’re waiting, give Carolyn’s Cake Crumbs and Cookie Dough page a once over. Who knows? You might need a cake or some cookies for, um, the kids. Right? After 20-25 minutes, take the cabbage out of the oven, give it a taste (careful, it’s hot!) and stir. Reseason as needed and put back into the oven. Roast it for another 20 minutes or until desired tenderness has been achieved. I like mine to still have a little crunch, but that’s just me.

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Try not to eat the whole thing. It’s like cabbage candy. Wait, what?

Here’s a printable recipe for you. Enjoy!

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