“I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”
~Former President George H.W. Bush
I have never, not for one day, liked broccoli. Every member of my household loves broccoli and would eat it every night if I were willing to
stink up my kitchen cook it regularly. It smells like feet. And it smells even worse warmed up in the microwave the next day. Plus, it’s got a creepy texture.
If the Lord wanted me to eat broccoli, He’d have made it to taste like a doughnut.
When I was a teenager, my mom (a weirdo broccoli-lover) found a recipe for a broccoli salad, probably in a church cookbook somewhere. Apparently she thought it would go over big-time, because she made it and put it on the table…at Thanksgiving! Thaaaaat’s right. Right there, beside the turkey and dressing, the sweet potatoes, the green beans, the corn, the mashed potatoes, the macaroni-and-cheese, and the pumpkin and pecan pies, was a big, ole bowl of broccoli salad. She’s got a lot of nerve, my mama! While I’m not at liberty to repeat what was said once I realized there was flippin’ broccoli on the Thanksgiving table (I’m trying to get more sanctified about these things), I can tell you this: there was an eyeroll involved. Let’s just say I was less than thankful.
She challenged me to try the parts that were not broccoli-related, which I did begrudgingly. To my utter shock and amazement though, after one bite, I was hooked. Another eyeroll, this time from my mama (Can YOU imagine having me for a child? God bless her.). The dressing is addictive. It’s sweet and tangy and creamy-dreamy goodness. Right then I decided that, even if it meant eating broccoli, I was eating as much of that dressing as I could. Shoot, man. You could whip up a batch of this dressing and pour it over an old shoe, and…nevermind.
While the original recipe calls for white sugar and raisins (both ingredients that add to the sweetness factor but are off-plan on a low-carb/THM-style diet), I have modified it to be more low-carb, perfect for an S-style side dish! However, if you are not sugar-free or low-carb, I’ll include the sugar conversion, too. Because I love you, you sugar fiend.
A Word About Mayonnaise:
The dressing for this salad is mayo-based; thus, the need for a little behind-the-scenes information. In our house, mayonnaise is not just something we put on a sandwich or mix into our deviled eggs. Mayonnaise is something to savor, a condiment that brings new life to dishes, even when used sparingly. As such, I’m pretty picky about what kind of mayo we use; I’m a mayonnaise snob, if you will. And even if you won’t. We only use Duke’s mayo. A serving size contains 100 calories and NO sugars and NO carbs. Plus, it’s the best-tasting mayo on the market (educated opinion backed by anecdotal evidence), hands-down. I can find it at Kroger here in Texas; however, if you live in a market where it’s not carried, you can buy it here. It’s a bit pricey, but worth every penny.
Summer-Fresh Broccoli Salad
Easy peasy. See those ingredients up there? Throw them into a bowl. Mix up the dressing in another bowl. Pour dressing over dry ingredients. Thoroughly combine. Cover and store in fridge. The longer it sits; the better it gets. To a point, of course.